The Unplugging Read online

  SEAMUS

  benign?

  BERN

  yeah. Like—mild. Harmless, kind of.

  SEAMUS

  benign.

  BERN

  how old are you?

  SEAMUS

  old enough

  BERN

  what are you doing here?

  SEAMUS

  free country

  BERN laughs again.

  why do you keep laughing at me?

  BERN

  you say funny things

  SEAMUS

  I don't think I do

  BERN

  what are you doing here?

  SEAMUS

  same as you, probably. Looking for stuff. Trying to stay alive.

  BERN

  where'd you come from? Yeah, yeah, I know. (She motions vaguely as he did before.) But it's been seven or eight moons since the unplugging, you haven't been wandering since then. You've been somewhere, you've been part of some community. And now you are not. How come?

  SEAMUS

  Moons? Is that like months?

  BERN

  yes, my boy, that is like months, give or take. Once upon a time we kept time by the moon.

  SEAMUS

  it was a beautiful moon last night. Full.

  BERN

  almost a full moon. Today it is full. Mukwa geezis. Bear moon.

  SEAMUS

  Mug—wah?

  BERN

  Mukwa, it means bear.

  SEAMUS

  in what language?

  BERN

  in my language. So, you won't tell me where you came from, or what you are doing here. You must have just got here, I haven't seen any sign of you.

  SEAMUS

  yeah, just got here yesterday, was lucky to find this place up here for the night, made a fire

  BERN

  where? I didn't smell anything—

  SEAMUS

  Just up there, nice place, all glass and open

  BERN

  at the monk's place?

  SEAMUS

  there was no one there

  BERN

  no, he's gone

  SEAMUS

  he was a monk? Cool.

  BERN

  you didn't—wreck it, did you?

  SEAMUS

  what difference does it make? He's long gone. He won't miss a few chairs—

  BERN

  Oh no—

  SEAMUS

  good thing that floor is stone, or the whole place woulda gone up

  BERN

  what?

  She strides to him, poking him as she speaks.

  This is how we got into this situation in the first place, people indiscriminately taking and using and wasting without any thought to the future—

  SEAMUS

  ow, ow, okay stop, I'm kidding—I'm just jerking you around!

  BERN stops. They are too close.

  BERN

  You didn't—

  SEAMUS

  What kind of asshole do you think I am? shit, you are strong… I'm gonna have a bruise there.

  BERN

  I barely touched you.

  SEAMUS

  look, it's coming up already

  BERN

  wow, you must be missing something in your diet

  SEAMUS laughs.

  SEAMUS

  yeah, like food.

  BERN reacts.

  you wouldn't have any?

  BERN

  what?

  SEAMUS

  please. The monk's place is nice, but it's kinda stripped clean. Like every other place along the way here.

  BERN

  along the way?

  Beat.

  She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a package that she unwraps a bit, from which she pulls out a piece of food. She hands it to him.

  SEAMUS bites it. Chews.

  SEAMUS

  wow. Holy shit. That's—what is that? Meat?

  BERN

  it's moose. A kind of a jerky.

  SEAMUS

  oh my god. You caught a moose?

  BERN

  my—friend—shot a moose, yes.

  SEAMUS finishes the bite.

  SEAMUS

  is there—more?

  She pulls out another piece, holds it to him, then away.

  BERN

  what are you doing here?

  SEAMUS

  let's just say I am looking for a new situation

  He reaches for the jerky. She pulls it away.

  BERN

  what was wrong with the old situation?

  SEAMUS

  please. It's so—good—I'm hungry

  BERN holds the food away.

  I was in a place, a group of people. They—didn't want me. I wasn't pulling my weight.

  BERN gives him the meat, which he tries not to wolf down. She reaches into another pocket and offers him something.

  BERN

  These are full of vitamin C. Should help with the bruising.

  SEAMUS

  Thank you.

  BERN nods.

  BERN

  let me see. (motions to where she poked him)

  He opens his layers and she looks at his chest.

  yup, that's a bruise all right. Sorry.

  SEAMUS

  you smell good.

  BERN

  (stepping away) what?

  SEAMUS

  sorry, don't—it's just, you smell good, like woodsmoke and pine trees and vanilla and stars—

  BERN

  I smell like stars?

  SEAMUS

  yeah, I don't know. But yeah, like stars.

  BERN laughs.

  there you go again.

  BERN

  you're a funny boy—

  SEAMUS

  Seamus

  BERN

  shaymuss.

  SEAMUS

  yeah, but spelled the Irish way—s-e-a-m-u-s—my folks had a thing for the old country—though they were born and bred here

  BERN

  the old country

  SEAMUS

  people are funny about roots

  BERN

  yeah

  SEAMUS

  so—um—

  BERN

  um?

  SEAMUS

  that's your opening to say—my name is—Cathy or Stephanie or Michelle or whatever

  BERN

  I don't know that I want to give you my name.

  SEAMUS

  o-kay. Well, then I will just call you She Who Smells Like Stars. Though it's a little awkward. Better hope there's no emergency. Watch out! She Who Smells Like Stars! There's a—awwwwww!

  And the bear will have you.

  BERN

  no bears out this time of year.

  SEAMUS

  even though it's bear moon? Mugwah something.

  BERN

  good for you, Seamus. You learned something.

  SEAMUS

  I can learn things. I can. It's a bit late, but—

  BERN

  Bernadette.

  SEAMUS

  Bernadette.

  BERN

  but my friends—my friend—calls me Bern.

  SEAMUS

  ah, your friend. Am I going to meet her?

  BERN

  how do you know it's a her?

  SEAMUS

  you said, your friend, she shot a moose

  BERN

  I don't think I did

  SEAMUS

/>   well, even if you didn't, don't take this the wrong way, She Who Smells Like Stars, but you don't seem like a woman who has a man

  BERN nods.

  do you wanna go up to the monk's house, make a fire? Then you can see for yourself that I didn't bust up the joint.

  BERN pauses.

  come on, Bernadette. And if you have any more of that jerky in those pockets, I'll trade you news for a piece of it.

  He starts to walk off, beckoning her. After a moment she follows him.

  CACHE

  BERN is doing housework. ELENA bursts through the door carrying the hatchet. She gets the rifle, starts to load it.

  BERN

  Elena, what—?

  ELENA

  they've found us

  BERN

  who's found us? Wait, Elena—

  ELENA

  not now, Bernadette.

  BERN grabs the rifle barrel, ELENA still holds the stock.

  BERN

  what—are—you—doing?

  ELENA

  there's a man out there. Watching us.

  BERN

  a man?

  ELENA

  they've sent someone, Bernadette. They tracked us, and they've sent someone—

  BERN

  why would they do that, Elena?

  ELENA

  to take what we have. Let go.

  BERN

  you're not going to shoot him

  ELENA

  I am going to try.

  BERN

  he's hardly a man, Elena. Not much more than a boy.

  ELENA stops. Beat. Beat.

  I met him. Yesterday. Up near the monk's place.

  ELENA

  you—met—him?

  BERN

  yeah, I was on my way back from the creek and I could feel that I was being watched. So I called him out.

  ELENA

  you met him yesterday? And you didn't tell me?

  BERN

  I'm sorry, Elena. I was trying to figure out how to—tell you.

  ELENA is silent.

  I was afraid. Of this. That you would take a gun to him.

  ELENA

  you met him yesterday.

  BERN

  I'm sorry. (beat) Elena, can we invite him in?

  ELENA

  no.

  BERN

  no?

  ELENA

  absolutely not.

  BERN

  I don't get a say in this?

  ELENA

  how about, I don't get a say in this. You go off and meet some man, you don't tell me, now you want to bring him into our house.

  BERN

  sorry, sorry, sorry, how many times can I say it? I'm sorry. Elena, it's cold out there, he is hungry. He's young, and kinda dumb.

  ELENA

  Send him back to them. Tell them no.

  BERN

  They banished him.

  ELENA

  (beat) Sure they did.

  BERN

  That's what he says.

  ELENA

  Don't believe him, Bernadette. He's a man.

  BERN

  oh my god

  ELENA

  How long did you two stand around chatting? Or was it more than chatting?

  BERN

  It was more like talking, Elena. Not too long. Long enough. He's staying in the monk's place.

  ELENA

  nooooo

  BERN

  no, it's okay. I checked. He is being respectful. Showed him how to make a proper fire.

  ELENA

  you were in the monk's place with him

  BERN

  He has news, Elena, lots of news. Just let him come in, have a cup of tea, something to eat. He can tell you things. He has news. Maybe about your daughter, your grandson.

  ELENA

  they are dead to me

  BERN

  they are not dead to you, Elena. Even if they are dead (She makes a physical gesture to banish the thought.) they would still not be dead to you. “They are with us, always.” (beat) Let me invite him in.

  ELENA

  do you like him?

  BERN

  oh, Elena. He's a boy, he's like a nephew.

  Big beat. ELENA looks at BERN, weighing. BERN waits.

  ELENA

  all right. Let's see him then.

  BERN goes to the door.

  BERN

  Seamus!

  ELENA

  Seamus?

  SEAMUS

  (offstage) Bern?

  BERN

  Come on in! (to ELENA) You might want to put the rifle down.

  ELENA

  or, I might not.

  SEAMUS arrives at the door. He comes in, taking off his boots.

  SEAMUS

  Hi. You must be Elena.

  SEAMUS tries to offer his hand, considers the gun, changes his mind.

  I have heard so much about you.

  ELENA

  really. From whom.

  SEAMUS

  well, from—Bernadette here. (beat) Oh hey, Bern, (reaching in his parka pocket) are these the same berries you gave me yesterday?

  BERN

  rose hips. Yeah.

  ELENA raises her eyebrows.

  SEAMUS

  oh good. I thought so. I found some more today. Been sucking on them. 'Cause of what you said about vitamin C. Ooh, wanna see the bruise you gave me? (starts to undo his shirt) It's a good one.

  BERN

  ah, that's okay. Um, come on in. Do you want a cup of tea?

  ELENA

  Bernadette—

  SEAMUS

  oh please. (to ELENA) Thank you for having me in your home.

  ELENA nods. BERN motions for him to sit, then brings him a cup of tea.

  meegwitch. That's right, isn't it? Thank you?

  BERN

  Meegwetch. Yes.

  SEAMUS sees ELENA watching him.

  SEAMUS

  Bern taught me that. Thank you. In your language.

  ELENA

  you're a quick learner, are you?

  SEAMUS

  pretty quick. Things that interest me. Though now there's a lot less distractions, I find that a lot of things interest me. Everything. It's like the—the unplugging—kind of wiped me clean, and I can start learning all over again. But important things this time, not just video games and Twitter, but things like what time of day it is from the sun, and what we can eat from the land, and that mukwa means bear—

  ELENA

  what are you here for?

  SEAMUS

  I told Bern—

  ELENA

  tell me

  BERN

  Elena

  SEAMUS

  it's okay, Bern. I know it must look weird, me showing up here. The community—it's not going so well there. (beat) There's lots of—sickness, lots of anger, lots of power stuff going on. Laird is, like, king or something. He said I had to go because I wasn't pulling my weight, but I think it was—something else.

  BERN

  something else?

  SEAMUS

  I was doing the same as everyone else. More, even, because I was strong, but Laird—nothing I did pleased him.

  ELENA

  And.

  SEAMUS

  There was a girl. New since you two—left—I think. Tessera. We were spending time together. And Laird, well, he seems to think that everything and everyone belongs to him.

  BERN

  droit du seigneur

  SEAMUS

  what?

  BERN

>   it's—nothing—a primitive belief—

  ELENA

  so she wouldn't leave with you?

  SEAMUS

  Tessera, she's young. She's scared. She's lost a lot—

  ELENA

  We've all lost a lot.

  SEAMUS

  yeah, well, yeah… I don't blame her. I couldn't have taken care of her. I could barely take care of myself. If I didn't find you guys—

  ELENA

  so you tracked us here

  SEAMUS

  yeah

  ELENA

  why?

  BERN

  how?

  ELENA

  surely there were other options along the way, other groups of people who would be happy to have a young, able-bodied, quick learner like you

  SEAMUS

  (shrugs) maybe. Stayed with a few on the way. Passed a few more. Nothing appealed.

  ELENA

  and we did? Two old women? What did you think was going to happen when you got here?

  SEAMUS

  I didn't think that far—I don't know. I just kept moving north. (beat) Then I stumbled on one of your camps. Saw how you got in, that you'd made a small fire, burned your garbage, left the place tidy. That there were two of you.

  ELENA

  you're a regular detective, are you?

  SEAMUS

  I started to try and think like you. Where were you going, how did you choose your stopping places… you were smart… you made me smarter.

  ELENA

  We made you smarter. So now you think that we should welcome you with open arms?

  SEAMUS

  I didn't think you would welcome me with open arms. It's why I hung around, getting the lay of the land for a bit. But I got—

  ELENA

  —hungry.

  SEAMUS

  —lonely. (beat) We need people. People. People need people.

  Silence.

  BERN

  how did you find us?

  Silence.

  how did you find us, Seamus? How did you even know to keep moving north? Elena and I have been gone for three moons. You didn't just walk out on the road and sniff. I never even saw you when we were there.

  He looks at ELENA.

  SEAMUS

  I know your daughter, Valerie. We talked. She worries about you.

  ELENA

  shut up

  SEAMUS

  she—she's pretty busted up—

  ELENA

  Shut up!

  SEAMUS

  and your grandson, Archer, he said when he saw you again he'd—

  ELENA

  GET OUT! GET OUT!

  ELENA grabs the rifle.

  BERN

  ELENA, NO! (to SEAMUS) You'd better go.

  SEAMUS struggles into his boots, exits.

  BERN picks up the abandoned cup, examines it.

  so now we banish him?

  ELENA